


Behind The Mask

by Pinx_B



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Introspection, Light Angst, POV First Person, Romance, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 14:22:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14022171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinx_B/pseuds/Pinx_B
Summary: Everyone has moments of vulnerability, Yukari is no different..





	Behind The Mask

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Yukari is a leader. 

She attests to that position in every single way possible and I should know what that entails; I _used_ to be one. 

I know how she has to remain the definition of calm, controlled and confident. 

Just like she is doing now as she speaks to Okina & Kanako about something that clearly regards Gensokyo's future. 

It is essential to know how to play games, how to use words with sharp edges lined with faux humour. 

She excels at the deliverance of this technique as she remarks something and then brings her fan up, tapping it against that delicate chin when she chuckles softly. 

It is necessary to exude an aura that brings the attention of every single person in a room, to make them feel lucky to be in one's presence. 

Something else that Yukari owns so naturally with her ephemeral beauty that never ceases despite what she is doing. 

Power is another requirement, though being able to show too less or too much can be problematic. 

Yukari does this in such a way that doesn't need to be displayed in volatile & abrasive manners; balancing between both so effortlessly. 

Indeed, having had faced off against her and the cunning mechanics of that dangerously beautiful mind, I too can say that she is a leader. It is depicted in every single one of her endeavours and it is a quality that most will marvel at regardless of the whether they're on the negative or positive impact of it. 

 

However, all of these traits are one side of her. 

A persona she has to have on display in order to hold the reigns tight over Gensokyo. 

I myself did the same on Luna, so I know of what she is hiding beneath that unbreakable surface. 

My eyes, body & mind have experienced sides of Yukari that many would assume were desolate & non-existent. 

But I can bear witness that it _does_ exist. 

I've seen the fear pour out of her body when she brings Reimu to me in a near death state. 

I've seen the sadness suffocate her when she tells me of something else that Yuyuko has forgotten about their past. 

I've seen the unadulterated rage bubble to the surface when she hears of another instigator trying to harm Gensokyo. 

I've seen her confusion crinkle between her eyes when she is at crossroads. 

I've seen her in love when she looks at me. 

Yukari might be the youkai of all youkai but what kind of a comparison is that when they are capable of feeling just as expressively as any other species. 

And in this moment, she felt intense annoyance. 

At her company and at me for not whisking her away as politely as possible. 

Sometimes I do get a bit of a delight at seeing her silently squirm but I decide I best intervene before the rest of our guests are subjected to her patience running out. 

The small smile that appears on her full lips when I walk towards them does things to me that I cannot explain.

Yukari is just exquisite, hypnotising and a maestro at orchestrating the emotions she wants to show on _her_ terms; catching me off guard. 

I falter for a moment as I remember there was an actual need for me to take her away from the festivities here at Eientei. 

She made my mind go blank with just a coy smile, as is the continual proof of her hold over me. 

Her hand slips into mine when I outstretch it to feel that soft glove caress my palm. The material feels as soft as the look she is giving me and I cannot help the way my eyes linger over her with just as much tenderness.

We quickly excuse ourselves as I tell them that I need to borrow Yukari for a moment which earns teasing grins from the two women. 

Okina makes a quip about me taking my time on Yukari & I could've sworn that my lover actually appeared demure by the comment. 

That is a rare sight & one I yearn to see again soon. 

However, tonight isn't for me to surrender to my impulses or needs. 

Tonight is about _her_. 

We weave through the crowd as swiftly as possible to head back to my room as I can feel Yukari's resolve break. Her hand in mine tightens and I can hear her gentle breathing with each well timed step we take to get out of this environment. 

 

Eientei's hallways are empty as the moon viewing festival is still underway. 

We won't be disturbed & goddesses help the one that does decide to intrude on my moment with Yukari. 

I will _personally_ make them suffer. 

She needs this out of her system & I'll aid her every step of the way. 

Finally approaching my room, I slide the door open and take her in. Her hand doesn't leave mine as I close the door again and not a second later I feel her slam into me with desperate urgency. 

She wants to be held. 

Tightly enough to almost break her. 

So I oblige. 

My arms wind around her waist as hers do the same and then climb up my shoulders. Her gorgeous face is buried against my chest as her hands claw at my dress, each grasp matching the depth of her breathing. 

Not a minute later, the tell-tale signs of her frustration _finally_ being allowed out appear against my clothes in the form of tears. 

The small sobs yank at my heart & I wrap around her more possessively.

Yukari's burdens are layered to unreachable heights and not many can see that; even fewer actually knew this. 

I was one of the lucky few. 

I was the one that had the privilege of having her in my arms when these moments would happen because _I_ understood her the best. 

It was tiresome to keep up the facades, smiles and stoic emotions that would eventually take its toll. We both had thousands of years of this process happening and it never became any easier. 

Especially when we were nothing but parallel adversaries that always fought but never met. 

Those times were long ago & things were different now as we had each other. 

I needed Yukari to understand that with every word I uttered into her ear as she continued to open up. 

Every word that conveyed that I was here for her, that she shouldn't hold anything back, that I have got her, that I love her & will _never_ let go. 

She could cry for as long as she needed to and I'd be there for every second to give her comfort. 

Yukari's low reply against my heart made me sigh out with relief, her breathing steadying whilst she remained entangled against me. 

A hand of mine crawled across her back, up the length of the low dress till I could reach her hair and remove her cap in order to run my fingers through it properly. I knew it soothed the waves crashing around in her head. 

She feels so fragile. A word that nobody would ever dare to associate with a woman like herself.

Only because she couldn't show it. 

But she could show me anything and _nothing,_ nothingwould change what I think of her, how I feel about her. 

This is something I plead to her to know as I back up against the door and slide us down to the floor. 

The new angle allows Yukari to bury her face into the crook of my shoulder whilst my hand runs over her body, the other still sinking into the golden locks. 

The soft plumes of her breathing paint across my neck and I can feel the calm flooding in from where the stress had poured out. She could finally replenish herself from the anchors holding her down and even if it was temporary, at least I could always provide an escape for her. 

We sit there in comfortable silence with our bodies needing no space, my hands still actively trying to make Yukari feel at ease and I presumed she may have drifted off to sleep; however, I was mistaken. 

She moves her head up to look at me and somehow, she is still the epitome of captivating. 

Violet eyes are surrounded with a tinge of red, bottom eyelids slightly puffy and a lip plump with a bite mark which I assumed she inflicted when trying to retain her cries. A trail of translucent liquid remains down her cheek and I stroke my thumb against it to wipe it away whilst asking if she is okay. 

That smile appears and she rubs her cheek against my palm, her eyes closing while her hands rest on my neck. 

Content. 

Yukari is content. 

She tells me this, tells me she is okay, that she's thankful to have me, that she loves me _so_ much. 

This makes me relax even if she hasn't told me the reason she is upset specifically which is fine as she always tells me a day later. When she feels more collected and less exposed. 

I'm fine with simply being with her to weather whatever storm she is trapped in. 

I feel a hand of hers snake behind my head and pull me closer. It's something magnetic so I follow with ease as our lips connect ever so gently. A brief but lingering kiss that blends us together both emotionally & physically. There is no need for anything too overt or drastic because I know Yukari is searching for reassurance, both for herself and me. 

That everything will be alright no matter what occurs. 

Because things are different now. 

A millennia later, she isn't alone, nor am I. 

We never again have to be. 


End file.
